Does your man snooze off by the time you freshen up and come back to bed for a quickie more? Alternatively, are you tired of the impossible drowsiness that comes over you right after sex?
If you answer yes to either of the above, it’s the ideal time that you should begin your soul searching on what really happens after you or your man’s orgasm. According to recent studies, when men have their orgasms, it is not just the 10 miles/hour sperm jet that is ejaculated, but umpteen other hormones too!
- What happens in a male orgasm?
Based on the brain Wave pattern of men after sex, Orgasm and Ejaculation of a man after sex also leads to many other hormonal secretions that may compel him to sleep. After ejaculation, men also secrete norepinephrine, nitric oxide and serotonin among many other neurotransmitters unlike testosterone alone. Norepinephrine is produced from dopamine while nitric oxide is released by the prostates to trigger relaxation in the penis.
Serotonin is the preceding hormone to brain’s sleep signal- melatonin and one of the happiness quartets, which is the cause of the conscious mind switching off in a man post-sex. “These experiments give us the first hints as to what happens in the brain during orgasm”- according to Serge Stoléru. Hence, soon after the orgasm the male brain is drained of all sexual feelings, it needs time to get ready to charge up.
- Prolactin can kill your sexual mood
All scientific theories are because after ejaculation, men also release prolactin, which is the main hormone that is responsible for feelings of sexual satisfaction. However, this same hormone is linked to inducing sleepiness as well as inhibiting dopamine (one of happiness quartet).
After sex, prolactin rises inducing drowsy feelings, leading the man to sleep. In addition, when the ejaculation happens, prolactin level (one of happiness quartets) also rises in men. Until the dip of prolactin happens, man is not recharged for another go of copulation!
- Vasopressin and Oxytocin:
The two important sex hormones, Vasopressin links to cerebral lethargy by water retention while Oxytocin is referred to as the love hormone. The former plays the core role of keeping through the constriction of blood vessels for sex and social conduct. The latter is known for its social relaxation and emotional bonding skills.
After sex, these hormones are secreted directly into the brain, creating an overwhelming feeling of drowsiness. As sex exploits the body’s natural stimulants and stresses it through sex, the mind of a man immediately relaxes and dozes off right after.
- Sex at night
Another obvious reason for the main cause of your man sleeping off immediately after sex is perhaps the imperfect timing of arousal that you have. If you are attempting copulation at the end of a long dreary day at the office, both of you will not benefit any positivity from the stressful lovemaking. The trick is to have sex in the morning or at an ideal time that your mate’s body is alive and ready for a productive lovemaking.
- Sexy Warmth of the ideal bed
Often ignored a part preceding the interiors of your bedroom is that, your bedroom should also stimulate oxytocin release in your body and should be calming. Your bed should conform and enhance the comfort you share with your mate as well as rouse you to healthy sex. Observing adequate sleep hygiene is necessary for overcoming excessive drowsiness. Furthermore, the culprit of sleepiness can also be the screwed up circadian rhythm in your man.
- Excuse to Pillow Talk
Another natural reason that men often sleep off post-sex is to avoid the pillow talk that the partner subjects to after sex. For a man, the mind is relaxed, unexcited and completely drowsy. For petty gossips, it just is the perfectly disastrous time for your man and you might want to nod to this signal of disapproval that he is giving you. Try to talk to him to resolve this confusion.
- Infidelity Issues
Another probable cause might be that your man is cheating on you, or if you’re the man, you are avoiding your wife without quite registering the same action in your brain. This might be because you have an infatuation or fantasy about someone else and it makes you feel guilty to prolong the sex with your faithful partner.
It is the worst nightmare for a man or woman to turn out to be the traitor. Hence, don’t hurry into conclusions and keep calm to discuss the same with your partner.
Theories or Hypotheses based on Surveys
Theories that are generated from surveys are universally accepted, yet not accurate for every person and can merely be a hypothesis. In the case of men, sleep and sex, the verdicts are almost identical. One cannot say that no woman on earth sleep after sex or every man on earth prefers to sleep after sex.
Ten years ago, a false study claimed that men think about sex roughly 8000 times every day or every seven seconds of their waking hours. Recent studies show that while a woman thought about sex just a handful of times every day, men think about sex twice more than women at a rate of 19 times per day.
Yet other maybe-truths based on the current theories about men sleeping right after sex are:
- Hunger and Sex in Man: Having sex before dinner can help your man be hungrier and sleepless, hence better suitable for your second round of sex. As odd as it sounds, studies reveal that this can also give a chance to a wild session after dinner.
- Prolactin and Man’s Ejaculation: Fact is prolactin levels are 4 times more after sex than compared to ejaculation after masturbation;
- A Man’s Orgasm: Like most orgasms, man’s orgasm is mysterious too. However, along with his orgasm, it is not the testosterone alone, which he ejaculates, but scores of other hormones too!
Theories based on Psychology
Psychological theories of a man sleeping after sex are based on the sophisticated mindset of the man. This can be infinitely branched, however some of the most recorded or average reasons of man’s psychology about sleeping off after a round of coitus are as below:
Stress can begin anywhere in a man or woman. Stress can create fatigue and exhaustion in the mind apart from the body. Additionally, this stress can start anywhere. If your man is cheating on you that might be a cause for his sleep excuse after one round of sex, but that is not the only cause.
A man can also be highly stressed due to work or bad sleeping problems such that sleep is a medicine that his mind compels his body to choose.
- Avoiding Pillow Talk
Another variable psychological reason that most men quote is when confronted about sleeping after ejaculation is it is an excuse to avoid pillow talk that usually follow the sex. Ancient Indian Text on sexuality calls it ‘tantra’, which has an etymology of being called the serene aftermath of sex, which is also emotionally bonding for the couples. The same is known in the west as cuddling or pillow talk, but the truth is if you talk out your emotions after sex, it is beneficial for both, regardless of how much fluff or cheesiness your post-sex rants have.
Nevertheless, if you think that your partner has mentioned at least once about disliking your pillow talks, quiet it down and go for a silent telepathic and emotional rousing time after.
Myths about Men falling asleep after sex
There are many myths about men falling asleep after sex as there are not many studies conducted on the subject. Here are some of the legendary and popular myths:
- Guilt of Cheating: It is not true that all men fall asleep after sex because they are cheating on their partner, just because some men are psychologically inclined to do so
- Disinterest towards the partner or sex: Often partners of the men with sleeping habit after sex are forced to believe that the latter has no sexual or arousing interest in them. Talk to your man, if you doubt this is the case.
- Excuse to pillow talk: Just because your man fell asleep a few times after sex, it does not define that he dislikes your pillow talk. Nevertheless, the opposite can be a reason too. Talk to your man openly when in doubt.
Facts about Men falling asleep after sex
- Muscle density: As men have more muscle density, the man feels the abrupt rhythm of physical exertion during sex more. Added to this, if your man is also stressed up, he can feel heavily fatigued such that his body needs thorough rest before another round of lovemaking.
- Man’s ejaculation Vs Women’s ejaculation: It is true that a woman’s arousal can take a longer time to subside than men. This is due to the physiological makeup of the woman and the courtesy in such a case is that one should never leave the lover unsatisfied when in a coitus. Simply put, the man should take care to give the woman an orgasm before drifting off to sleep.
- The Journey is as powerful as the arrival itself: This is the truth as the goal of sex is not orgasm or sleep. The goal of lovemaking is love. Hence, enjoy loving your partner as long as the moments last!
What can you do to prevent your man from falling asleep after lovemaking?
Sometimes, it is okay for people to be satiated with one round, and a back-to-back intercourse might sound even stressful. If sleep is a must there is very little you can do to change it, let alone come-out unscathed from hurting him personally. Nevertheless, here are some ways to see if you can extend your sexual experience simultaneously respecting the freedom and consent of your partner:
- Drink coffee before sex: Caffeine is a stimulant and hence keeps off the drowsy hormones from getting your partner to crash soon after sex. It is safe, practical and ideal if your man does not have a problem with coffee!
- Talk to your partner: YES! The first step to scaling this small ladder is, talk your heart out with your partner. Brainstorm together what you can do for your sexual gratification as well. Even if you don’t arrive at solutions instantly, just rant and ramble your heart out. The results will be visible in your next intercourse!
- Have sex somewhere else other than the bedroom: It is natural to associate the bedroom with sleep. For some people, this is asserted in learning to follow a sleep cycle during childhood. Hence, your man must be sleeping off owing to the conditioned habit of feeling sleep when in the bedroom. The easiest solution to this is, have sex somewhere else!
- Keep the bedroom well lit: Another way to keep your spouse from sleeping off after sex is by keeping your place of sex, well lit. Having a dim bedroom can make your body produce more melatonin, and command the brain to go to sleep.
- Have sex in daylight: Another way to limit body’s melatonin production is by exposing yourself to sunlight. This makes the brain realize it is not the time to sleep. A brilliant way to tackle it is by making love outdoors while keeping you safe from any peeping toms.
From notable writers like Paulo Coelho to Scientific sharks, orgasm is still a mystery. It is not true that all men drop asleep soon after ejaculation, but it is true that men have a higher chance of sleeping than women. The fact is if you love your man, then you might not want to change anything about what you actually fell in love with!